Andrew played ice hockey for 6 years.. Your rhino glands haven't lived until they've smelled the aroma of sweaty hockey equipment, sitting in the trunk of a car for three days..

Back then I referred to it as "boy funk smell".. And on a good day, you could actually catch a whiff of it wafting from his bedroom.. I truly did not know such a smell existed.. And I firmly believed there could not be another smell worse than that..
I was wrong.

Last night I was sitting on the couch next to Ryleigh.. I kept smelling something that took me back to youth hockey days.. Boy funk smell..
It wasn't constant.. Just an occasional sniff.. I was too busy voting millionaires off of TV shows to think too much about it..

When I told her it was bed time, she gave me some grief.. She always does.. And I usually wrestle her to the floor, or tickle her until she can't stand it.. We have a Kodak moment, and off she goes..
Little different last night.. I got her to the floor and it hit me.. Like this brick wall slamming into me.. My eyes watered, my throat closed, I think my skin crawled..

I've known for a couple years now that she had stinky feet..
We talk about it, she has to keep her shoes away from me, she knows she has to scrub her piggies daily.. It's not something we were oblivious to.. She has stinky feet, I call them her "stinkies", she laughs about it.. This would be the "funk" in dysfunctional.

But last night.. OMG!!!!.. I'm pretty sure my beautiful 11 year old girly girl, had stopped at a pig farm on the way home.. And then waded through a field of rotten feta cheese just before she came into the house..
They smelled so bad, I covered my face..

And what did she do??? She took her socks off and smelled them.. SHE SMELLED HER PIG POOP, FETA SOCKS.. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I have a genius on my hands..

In our wrestling, she managed to get her stinkies all over my couch pillow (I think she did it on purpose.).. I kid you not, after she went to bed, I could still smell it on the pillow..

I would throw it in the incinerator (fire place).. But I'm afraid a mushroom cloud will appear above my house..

The cat is still alive.. Although I think she's trying to kill herself.. about 3 minutes after Ryleigh went to bed, Tessa had her head stuck in the shoe that Ryleigh had worn to the feta field..

Anybody have a foot funk smell remedy?