I have a coke problem

I'm addicted.. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?
Well I'm hooked on the stuff..
I require ounces of it daily.. If I don't get it, I'm impossible to deal with it..
It makes me feel happy, there is always some in my house, I often hide it from my kids.
Those are classic signs of addiction..
I also love the way it tickles my nose and throat..

THE BUBBLES.. I LOVE THE WAY THE BUBBLES TICKLE MY NOSE AND THROAT.
Coca-Cola.. Soda, pop, fountain drink, cola, carbonated beverage, sarsaparilla (that may just be root-beer)..

And you were so ready to think the worst..

I am a true blue Coca-cola addict.. The fountain kind.. If I have to drink it out of a bottle I will.. But if there is a fountain, look out..
Lately, I've been mixing diet and regular.. My dad swears it doesn't matter, he says "pop is the worst thing you could put into your body. And diet is no better than regular".. He's probably right..
After all, there was an email that went around called "101 things to do with Coca-Cola". One of them said to use it to remove battery acid from your car battery, or something..
I'm trying to drink the diet because for some reason it makes me feel better about how much I consume..

What brought this up? Well I have a question..
WHEN DID 32 OUNCES (A BIG GULP) BECOME A MEDIUM???
Remember the days when your parents would take you to dinner and make you get a small pop.. And you hated it because you knew the 6 ounce glass would be gone in 3 sips.. They don't make that size anymore..
The smallest you can get is like 20 ounces, a medium is 32, and a large is 44.. 44 ounces of battery acid eating goodness..

This is great for me.. You will often see me leaving a gas station with my 44 ounce Styrofoam cup..
The problem is Ryleigh.. I can already see signs that I'm passing the addiction on to her.. I need there to be a small, the way small used to be when I was growing up..

I'm going to hear about this post from my mom.. And this is what she's going to say..
"When you kids were growing up, we never even had pop in the house.. You only got pop on special occasions.".. She's right..
But when I was growing up, I didn't have a cell phone, or a computer, or a TV in my room (this a whole post in itself)..
Things are just different now, and pop is more readily available..
Ryleigh has a phone, a computer, and a TV/DVD player in her room.. And Coke in the fridge..

turning 40 and still riding horses.

Today I turn the big 4-0. I thought I would wake up feeling different.. Feeling old.. Looking older.. Joints hurting.. Maybe I would wake up and be covered in age spots (besides the ones that are already there).. Wake up with grey hair and a million wrinkles..
But guess what?? Nothing is different.. I don't look older than I did yesterday, I don't feel older than I did yesterday.. I woke up and did the same things at 40 years old, that I did at 39.. Took my daughter to the eye doctor, then to school.. Came home, let the dog out (Andrew's dog and a whole different post), and started a load of laundry.. This sounds fairly mundane.. But it's actually very exciting.. The world does not fall apart or even change because a person turns 40.. That's pretty good news..
Don't get me wrong.. I have evidence of age.. The veins in my hands are starting to bulge.. I have some crows feet and puffiness under my eyes.. Things that should be perky are looking a little more like lethargic.. But this gradual "easing" into "old" works for me..
And on the bright side, I inherited this wonderful gene from my mother.. I call it the "you don't look your age" gene.. So if need be, I could pass for at least 35..

Yesterday, I passed for 21.. Not really..
Mom and I went to Indianapolis to spend the day with my sister (celebrating me of course)..
The plans were to go to lunch and then do a little shopping..
We went to Joe's Crab Shack.. Crab legs have been my favorite food since I was two.. And I ate a pound of them for lunch yesterday (BLISS!!!)..
Craig was our waiter.. And when Craig came to our table to get our drink order, my sister practically yelled to him that it was my birthday, and she made sure to include my age (like the pin they made me wear, that said "fantastic at 40 didn't give it away)..
Craig said he would have guessed 27.. I liked Craig.. But it got better..
At the end of our meal, Kim reminded Craig that it was indeed an event.. And he walked away..
Good ol' Craig came back with a beat up straw hat and a broomstick with a horse head on one end of it..
Then my pal Craig SCREAMS to EVERYONE at Joe's Crab Shack that "This is Kerri, and she's celebrating her 21st birthday" (see why I liked him)..
He tells me (and everyone) that I must don the hat, and ride the stick pony through the Shack until he's done singing to me.. Then he whispers to me that if he is not satisfied with the way I'm riding, he will stop the song and make me start over..
So yes, ladies and gentlemen.. I rode that damn pony to impress.. After all, it was 90 miles from home, I didn't know a soul in there, and I will never see Craig or the stick version of Mr. Ed, ever again..
We're not sure if there are pictures or not.. After Kim took a couple I heard her say something about no memory card in the camera.. You see, she's older than I am.. Gotta wonder if her memory isn't a little more challenged ..
But it was a great day.. Thanks Kim and Mom for helping me celebrate.. I think I'm gonna turn 40 again next week.. Can we do Quiznos for lunch this time??

Today has been a good day to have a birthday.. And tonight I'm going to my surprise birthday dinner.. I can't wait!!!

Had your fiber today?

Have you ever been sitting on the toilet and thought "hey, I'm a little hungry, how about I eat some toilet paper?"..
Yeah, me either..
But apparently this happens..

I'm not a big Tyra Banks fan.. I don't dislike her.. But I don't go to great efforts to watch her..
The other night my daughter comes into the living room and tells me to turn on Tyra..
There are three guest.. One eats chalk dust and baby powder.. She tried Comet once (when she was pregnant) but didn't like it (go figure).. So now she sticks mostly to chalk dust.. She is a school teacher and when the kids leave, she rubs a piece of chalk (she doesn't like it whole), on a rough surface to produce her snack.. Then licks it out of the palm of her hand..

The second guest picks scabs off her head and eats them.. That's wrong on too many levels to list here..

They showed a clip of a non-guest's stomach content... They had to operate for abdominal pain.. They cut out a hair ball the size of a watermelon.. A WATERMELON.. Do this, pull out one strand of hair from your head.. Look at it closely.. How many of those do you think it would take to make a watermelon sized hair ball.. And not a small melon.. A big ol' family cookout sized watermelon..

The third guest eats toilet paper.. And not just once in while.. EVERY DAY.. How much she eats was a little unclear.. At first she said she ate a half a roll a day.. Then later she said she eats 4 rolls a week.. My Danville High School education says, that math is way off.. But then it showed a clip of this woman.. She was pulling stuff out of a bag she carries around.. And out came a roll of toilet paper.. But not a normal household roll.. Nope, an industrial giant roll.. Surely she doesn't eat 4 of those a week.. So I theorized that she probably eats normal household toilet paper most of the time, and the industrial roll is her "stash"..
Who does this??? What kind of crazy screwed up brain tells you to eat toilet paper???
The nurse in me says "what the hell does this shit (no pun intended) do to your body??
She claims she was just sitting on the toilet one day, looked over and got a craving.. I wonder, does one brand taste better than the other???
And too think, I just read when I'm on the toilet..


The next night Tyra had on guys that were "gay for pay".. If you're ever out of stuff to blog about, watch Tyra..