Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Shades of green

I mentioned the other day that I'm trying to help save the planet..

Saving aluminum, using old newspapers to start my fireplace, trying to get a filter on my faucet so I don't have to buy bottled water.. blah blah blah..

Well I'm not green yet.. More of an aqua..

Recall, I bought 5 reusable grocery sacks..

So yesterday I had a hair appointment and Ryleigh had an orthodontist appointment..
There was about an 45 minutes between them and I had planned on hitting the grocery store during that time.. I had my County Market coopins (that's only funny if you watch Ron White) and if I spent $50 I would get 25 cents in pump perks, putting me up to 70 cents off per gallon of gas at Mach1.. Got done with my hair, picked Ry up from school and headed to the store.. Before I got there I realized I didn't have my reusable grocery sacks.. And there wasn't enough time to go back home and still get my shopping done.. Plus the first time I use them, I didn't want to be the one bagging, so I wanted to wait until Scott could go to the store with me.. Ry and I stopped and had a coke instead.. With the plan to go to the store after the ortho appointment and when Scott got off work..

fast forward to after all that.. Standing in the check out line making sure I had spent the $50 (I love my pump perks..
I start to send Scott to the end of the grocery conveyor when I say (too loudly) "SHIT"..
My reusable grocery sacks are hanging on the door knob of my back door.. The tags are still on them.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

All little girls are not made of sugar and spice

Well I did it.. Last Thursday I cleaned Ryleigh's room..
Can I just say.. OMG!!! She's darn lucky she was at school.

And before I go any further, you should know, I'm a complete germ-o-phobe..
I do not eat or drink after ANYONE..
At 11 Ryleigh should be doing dishes.. I won't let her because I don't think she can get them clean enough and then when I try to eat off of them, I gag thinking about it.. Seriously, my dish water is so hot, it burns my hands through the rubber gloves.
Any dishes that I send leftovers home in with Andrew, I tell him to keep because I don't know what goes on at his house..
If I HAVE to pee in a public bathroom, I will hold my purse by the handle in my teeth, I will NOT set it down on a public bathroom counter or even hang it on the door hook.. (do you have any idea how many bacteria are on those surfaces?
I love money, hate touching it.. ewwwww.
If you spray it when you say it, I will gag right in front of you..
Anyone or anything I touch is analyzed for possible germ content.
I used to have to toss Andrews room once a week looking for stuff that shouldn't be there.. I basically made myself Hazmat ready before I even started.. Then showered as soon as I got done..

Ryleigh is not much better.. And this is how it went in her room.

6 water bottles
2 Gatorade bottles
paper plates
yogurt containers
2 spoons
1 fork
Q-tips
5 (count them) 5 loads of laundry
A couple school papers that looked like they hadn't been turned in.
A note from the school that listed the dates and times that I was to cover the gate for the basketball tournament.. Get this, I was to do it in early December.. So now I'm sure they were talking horrible about me because I didn't show up..
And worst of all, a broken sock.. I kid you not.. Recall the problem we have with her feet.. I found a sock that was so stiff, I could break it.. Not tear or rip it, break it....
All in all, I came up with two lawn bags of garbage.. I decided the problem was maybe that she had too much stuff.. So I starting throwing crap away (so far she hasn't missed anything). I also took a nightstand and some stacking shelves out..

Anyway.. I got it clean.. Then we went all over Danville looking for a "cute" garbage can to put in her room.. (Kim, she wants one like Meredith).. But during our shopping she says "Why do I need one"..
Me: to put all that garbage in instead of on your floor..
Her: what garbage?
Me: Uh the Q-tips and plates.
Her: I'm not putting paper plates in it.
Me: Why not?
Her: because they stink..
You know that look of disbelief when your mouth is open and your eyes are crossed? I had it..
Me: They don't stink when they're on your floor?
I think I'm going to choke her.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Damn it Dixon

I will be the first to admit that I've never been a very green person.
We eat off paper plates, I probably have 450,000 plastic pop and water bottles in a land-fill somewhere, I throw newspapers in the garbage, I don't car-pool, I have plastic grocery bags stuffed into each other all over the place.. etc... etc... etc...

But I know I'm not green.. I have said out loud "we should use real plates" or "maybe we should use paper grocery sacks..

In the past year or so, I've become more aware of my bad habits.. I bought a trash can specifically for cans and foil.. And I do throw all my cans in it.. I don't throw aluminum foil in it if I've used it to line a pan that I'm going to cook something messy in.. I made chicken cordon bleu Monday, the cheese oozed out my chicken and stuck to the foil, that foil is headed for a land fill, I didn't want it to sit in my can for cans and get all stinky.
I'm not sure if I decided to recycle aluminum because I wanted to save the environment or because I like the idea that I can justify my pop intake by saying "the more pop I drink, the more money I can get when I take the cans to the junk yard".. I have to say it pisses me off that slim-fast cans are not aluminum..
I love to find new ways to make a buck.. Last Friday I took two 55 gallon garbage bags of clothes to the resale shop.. They picked through the giant pile and selected about 6 things they were willing to buy.. (hint, when you take clothes to a place like this, make sure they're not covered in cat hair). They ended up giving me $14 and let me leave the rest of the crap there for them to dispose of..
Just last week I bought a water filter that goes on the faucet so I could stop buying bottled water.. This is going to end up being more expensive than I wanted it to be because when I got it home, it wouldn't screw on because the threads on the faucet are stripped.. So to be able to use it and cut down on my bottled water addiction, I have to buy a new faucet.. Hey I think Janice Landi blogged about some plumbing work she did.. Janice, you going to be in town anytime soon???

So the point is, I'm taking baby steps to this whole "Go Green" concept..
Then along come a post on "My Random Thoughts" (Thanks Amy) And I got all guilt ridden and thought that I really need to do more to save the planet.. And I need to be a good example for my daughter who has 450,000 plastic bottles on her floor (it is a land fill in itself.).
Last night we went to Wal-mart.. I dressed for the occasion in sweat pants, a hoodie, my fleece lined crocs, and no make up.. While we were there I passed four shopping carts of "clearance" items.. Mostly Christmas stuff.. Except one cart was full of the reusable shopping bags..
Again - Thanks bunches Amy for that guilt trip you didn't even know you were taking me on while I was in my best white trash outfit at Walmart.. But I did it.. I broke down and bought 5 "go green" reusable shopping bags.. I thought it was kind of funny that the check out lady shoved them into a plastic bag..

Pretty lame post, I know.. But I'm putting off cleaning Ryleigh's room.. It's been on my "to-do" list all week.. Yesterday I cleaned the oven because I thought it sounded better than heading into ground zero..
I know what you're saying "she's 11, make her clean her own room".. Her idea of cleaning the room is to see how much crap she can squeeze under her bed and in her closet.. So probably twice a year, I go in and give it a complete over-haul.. Today is the day..
By the time I'm done, I'll be pissed, disgusted and needing another shower..
But not to worry.. Stay tuned, and I'm sure you'll hear all about it..

Monday, January 12, 2009

Say What?


Have you seen the commercial for this "listening device"??? I know you have..
It starts out with this older, presumably married couple.. It's very obvious this bitter old woman can't stand her poor hearing impaired husband..
It shows them in bed, she's reading a book and he's watching TV (you can hear the TV in the background)..
She turns to him with fire in her eyes.. I mean it seriously looks like if she had a weapon in her hand, this pathetic old man would be dead.. She says (in this "I hate your friggin' guts" tone) "Does that have to be so loud?". I think what she means is "if you don't turn that down, I'm going to rip your heart out and feed it to you for breakfast".
Then it shows her again and she's on the phone (you can hear music playing) she tells her friend to hold on in the same "I hate my husband tone"..

Ladies, you know the tone.. We've all been annoyed with our husbands at some point.. Well I don't think this old bat has ever been anything but annoyed with her husband.. She again yells at him to turn the music down.


She won't go buy him a real hearing aid.. But she is willing to spend $19.95 plus shipping and handling for a "Listen Up" that he can carry around..

Here's the deal.. You can hear with this thing, if you're willing to go through life one handed.. It's a set of ear-buds connected to a device that is a little bit smaller than an Altoids tin.. You put the ear-buds in and hold the mini Altoids tin in the air, aiming at whatever it is you want to hear.


In the commercial you see a little old lady sitting in church holding this thing up so she can hear what's going on.. I don't know about anyone else, but my church lasts a little over an hour.. I've played my hand held Yatzee game for an hour at a time before (not in church), and holding it up (in the same manner this 110 year old woman was holding up her "Listen Up"), made my fingers fall asleep.. I'm only 40, and still have pretty good circulation.. This lady is 150 and her blood is probably circulating at about the speed of Elmer's glue..
Her fingers will fall off if she holds that thing up for an entire church service..
Point being.. It's not super convenient..


Even though that's how the commercial starts, that's really not the target audience..
It goes on to show you what a great device it is for eavesdropping..
In a "Desperate Housewives" setting, it shows a woman checking her mailbox.. Across the street two younger women are talking.. The mail box woman is holding up her "Listen up" and catching every word they say (about her).. I can see this starting some neighborhood feuds..


Then a guy in a gym is listening to what two ladies across the room are saying about him.. They're talking about what great shape he's in.. What they should be saying is "look at that dumb-ass holding that thing in the air".. There really is nothing discrete about this thing..


There are so many things about this commercial that I hate..
Like the fact that is shows people going to church and people spying all in a 30 second time span. I'm willing to bet that if I asked either one of my ministers, they would tell me spying and eavesdropping is wrong..


I also hate the idea that it only portrays old people as hearing impaired.. I may still have great circulation, but my family will tell you that I can't hear worth a crap..


Or what about the fact that now when I walk out of my front door, I'm constantly looking for anyone holding their hand in the air to see if they're listening to what I'm saying.. This commercial has me paranoid..


So what's your favorite dumb invention? I'm desperate for something with blogability.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

it's not all bon bons and soap operas

Well so far it hasn't been so bad..
Yesterday was really my first day at home alone..
I got up and took Ryleigh to school at the actual school start time..
For her entire school career she's gone to school an hour before it actually started for pre-care. And had to stay until 5 for after care..
So I took her to school.. Came home drank up a cup of coffee, got on the treadmill, watched Wheel of Fortune, took a shower, went to the police station to get finger printed (you can't go on a school field trip unless your prints are on file). I got back home about 12:45 and just kind of walked around the house.. I didn't know what to do with myself, so I took a nap. Then I got up and picked Ryleigh up at 3:30 when school actually got out..
If every day is like that, I'll be nuts..

Here are some things I've learned.. You can go 20 years without watching soap operas, and you still know what's going on.. I swear All My Children, hasn't changed.. Same people, same drama..
I no longer time things by the clock.. Instead of saying I went to pick Ryleigh up at 3:30, I should have said "I went to pick Ryleigh up half way through Rachel Ray".. I now know I can watch Rachel Ray until the second commercial break and still make it on time..

Today my morning was pretty much the same as yesterday.. But my mom called and invited me to her house for lunch.. Then we went to look at yarn.. She's going to knit me an afgan..
We stopped by a little diner that a friend I haven't seen in 20 years owns.. And guess what, I got a job offer.. Sorta.. She said to come back and talk to her about waiting tables a couple days a week.. Which wouldn't be too bad.. I waited tables for 8 years back in the day.. It would get me out of the house a little bit, and put some extra dollars in my pocket..
I'm not sure how serious she was..

Today when I picked Ryleigh up, she said everyone was asking her why she suddenly wasn't coming to pre and after care.. She told them her mom got laid off.. I'm glad she didn't say "lost her job".. That could be interpreted as "fired".
She did say she likes this new set up..

Tomorrow Ryleigh is going on a field trip to Springfield, she's begged me for years to go on a field trip with her.. They're going to the Lincoln House and then to some pizza place with pizza so big an overhead crane has to bring it to your table.. I think it was on the food network for something.. I kind of remember it..
Anyway, I went and got fingerprinted yesterday because I figured if I was going to be stuck on a field trip with 50+ 6, 7, and 8th grade kids, I might as well be a cool field trip.. But apparently all the other parents had the same thought, because when I offered to go and help, the teacher said that didn't need anymore parents.. Great.. That means I'm going to be stuck going on some lame-ass field trip to somewhere like the post office to see how mail is sorted..

Don't worry, I'm not going to give you daily updates of how I pace my house everyday, because I don't know what to do with myself..
But I thought I'd let you know I'm okay.. I can feel myself starting to relax..