So if you haven't heard, I dyed my daughters hair black.
And not just any black.. Black so black, it's blue..
I dyed my daughters hair blueblack.
Oh stop gasping.. IT'S JUST HAIR..
That has been my philosophy since uh, FOREVER..
Back in the day, I was known to do all kinds of weird things with my own hair including but not limited to, dying it orange and/or pink, shaving it, growing it, having a tail. You name it, I probably did it..
I was the same way when Andrew came along.. He had long hair, flat tops, mullets and I even used to take him to have designs shaved into the back (his hockey number, a Nike symbol, whatever he was into at the moment)
And my mother hated it (just about as much as she hates that I let Ryleigh do pretty much anything with her hair). When I was about 15 there was actually one episode that repulsed my mother so badly, she fired me from my job at the Ramada and refused to look at me until my hair grew back.
But, I figure if she is going to physically alter her appearance to express herself, hair is the best choice since it's easy to fix.
I have to explain that this kid has more hair on her head, than anyone I've ever met..
She was born with at least 2 inches that stuck straight up on her entire head.. She seriously looked like a troll doll for the first 4 months she was alive.. By the time she was two years old, she could sit on it..
The problem was, she was so tender headed, I couldn't do anything with it.. She screamed when I washed it, she screamed when I brushed it, she screamed if I just looked at it..
So what to do, but whack it off.. And we did.. About 17 inches to be exact.
Since then, she's gotten less soft on her melon and can do more with it..
So much to the dismay of most of my family, hair is free game and Sunday night we decided to dye it black.
Let me just say, if you ever get to chance to venture into this particular physical alteration, let it go.
It went sorta like this.
I mixed the color and color enhancer crap in the provided bottle and shook and shook and shook.
In the past when I've colored my hair, the color in the bottle changes slightly to match the color that's pictured on the box.. No matter how much I shook, the concoction stayed white. I even reread the instructions to make sure I mixed the right things together..
I did, so I proceeded..
I sat Ryleigh facing backwards on the toilet and started applying the white hair dye.
Remember how much hair she has? I ran out of hair dye 3/4 of the way around her head.
I shook and squeezed as much out of the applicator/bottle as I could.
So then (with the supplied cheapass gloves) I'm squeezing dye out of the front of her head to apply it to the back of her head. I was literally milking her hair for more dye.
And I must be really good at it because it worked and I got her entire head of thickass hair covered in white goo. Threw a towel around her shoulders and sent her on her way to marinate for 30 minutes.
I took off the gloves and rinsed the applicator (I've heard they're combustible) and threw them all away.
As we sat in front of the TV waiting, I could see the color changing on her hair. And her face. Apparently when I was milking her hair, I was touching her beautiful mayonnaise colored face with my hair dye goopy gloved hands. I DYED MY DAUGHTERS FACE BLUEBLACK!!!. Along with my arms and how I got blueblack hair dye up to my elbows, I still do not know. But I would recommend to the hair dye people that they put a rain coat in the blueblack hair dye boxes, instead of some measly cheapass wrist length gloves.
She was calm about it and said it would come off with alcohol (not the drinking kind).
After 30 minutes she headed to the shower to rinse..
25 minutes later I went to check on her..
The first thing I noticed were the blueblack splatters ALL OVER THE BATHROOM.
When I was shaking the bottle and milking her hair, I was splattering the white goo in the bathroom and in 30 minutes every white splatter turned blueblack.. nice..
So I peek into the shower and the water is still coming off her head with a bluish purple tint to it..
We couldn't get it rinsed.. So finally I told her to put some shampoo in it.. Rinse, lather, repeat. and repeat, and repeat and repeat until finally I was satisfied.
She put the special included conditioner in and I cleaned up the bathroom splatters.
When it was all said and done, the bathroom is clean, her face is not blueblack, my elbows look normal, and she actually looks really cute with black hair.
sorry mom
And not just any black.. Black so black, it's blue..
I dyed my daughters hair blueblack.
Oh stop gasping.. IT'S JUST HAIR..
That has been my philosophy since uh, FOREVER..
Back in the day, I was known to do all kinds of weird things with my own hair including but not limited to, dying it orange and/or pink, shaving it, growing it, having a tail. You name it, I probably did it..
I was the same way when Andrew came along.. He had long hair, flat tops, mullets and I even used to take him to have designs shaved into the back (his hockey number, a Nike symbol, whatever he was into at the moment)
And my mother hated it (just about as much as she hates that I let Ryleigh do pretty much anything with her hair). When I was about 15 there was actually one episode that repulsed my mother so badly, she fired me from my job at the Ramada and refused to look at me until my hair grew back.
But, I figure if she is going to physically alter her appearance to express herself, hair is the best choice since it's easy to fix.
I have to explain that this kid has more hair on her head, than anyone I've ever met..
She was born with at least 2 inches that stuck straight up on her entire head.. She seriously looked like a troll doll for the first 4 months she was alive.. By the time she was two years old, she could sit on it..
The problem was, she was so tender headed, I couldn't do anything with it.. She screamed when I washed it, she screamed when I brushed it, she screamed if I just looked at it..
So what to do, but whack it off.. And we did.. About 17 inches to be exact.
Since then, she's gotten less soft on her melon and can do more with it..
So much to the dismay of most of my family, hair is free game and Sunday night we decided to dye it black.
Let me just say, if you ever get to chance to venture into this particular physical alteration, let it go.
It went sorta like this.
I mixed the color and color enhancer crap in the provided bottle and shook and shook and shook.
In the past when I've colored my hair, the color in the bottle changes slightly to match the color that's pictured on the box.. No matter how much I shook, the concoction stayed white. I even reread the instructions to make sure I mixed the right things together..
I did, so I proceeded..
I sat Ryleigh facing backwards on the toilet and started applying the white hair dye.
Remember how much hair she has? I ran out of hair dye 3/4 of the way around her head.
I shook and squeezed as much out of the applicator/bottle as I could.
So then (with the supplied cheapass gloves) I'm squeezing dye out of the front of her head to apply it to the back of her head. I was literally milking her hair for more dye.
And I must be really good at it because it worked and I got her entire head of thickass hair covered in white goo. Threw a towel around her shoulders and sent her on her way to marinate for 30 minutes.
I took off the gloves and rinsed the applicator (I've heard they're combustible) and threw them all away.
As we sat in front of the TV waiting, I could see the color changing on her hair. And her face. Apparently when I was milking her hair, I was touching her beautiful mayonnaise colored face with my hair dye goopy gloved hands. I DYED MY DAUGHTERS FACE BLUEBLACK!!!. Along with my arms and how I got blueblack hair dye up to my elbows, I still do not know. But I would recommend to the hair dye people that they put a rain coat in the blueblack hair dye boxes, instead of some measly cheapass wrist length gloves.
She was calm about it and said it would come off with alcohol (not the drinking kind).
After 30 minutes she headed to the shower to rinse..
25 minutes later I went to check on her..
The first thing I noticed were the blueblack splatters ALL OVER THE BATHROOM.
When I was shaking the bottle and milking her hair, I was splattering the white goo in the bathroom and in 30 minutes every white splatter turned blueblack.. nice..
So I peek into the shower and the water is still coming off her head with a bluish purple tint to it..
We couldn't get it rinsed.. So finally I told her to put some shampoo in it.. Rinse, lather, repeat. and repeat, and repeat and repeat until finally I was satisfied.
She put the special included conditioner in and I cleaned up the bathroom splatters.
When it was all said and done, the bathroom is clean, her face is not blueblack, my elbows look normal, and she actually looks really cute with black hair.
sorry mom
3 comments:
OMG! That is so funny, I'm actually laughing out loud! You're the greatest story teller. I still think you should write a book.
I noticed your poll. Who voted yes? Yor or Landi? Anyway, I want to see a picture of Ryleigh.
. . . and I'll post my 70's hair. . . yes, I took a picture of it this morning, although it's not as 70's as it was yesterday.
Ten bucks says my mom will tell me I should always wear my hair like that.
Uh.. That the first poll I've ever done.. Where do I go to find out who voted? It wasn't me..
I'll try to get a picture of Ry. I don't have a digital. She does but I don't know if it still works..
I'll see what I can do..
I'm telling ya, it will take a lot for me to ever do black at home again..
I added pix of Ry..
It really doesn't look all that black in the pictures. It's much darker than it appears..
But I did notice you can see the hint of blue more in the pix than on her actual melon.
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