Things you do when no one is looking

*Sing loud
*Have conversations with yourself
*Look at your ass in the mirror
*Pick your nose - oh shut up, you know sometimes it's unavoidable.
*Skip washing your hands after you pee
*Pee in the shower (then there is no excuse for not hand washing)
*Double dip (hopefully you didn't skip the handwashing before that)
*Drink from the milk jug
*Look in the car parked next to you to see if they're sloppy or neat

What else???

Pets are friends

Tessa is my cat.. I didn't get her as a small kitten and I'm not sure how old she is.. 12ish, I think..
In any case, I paid about $450.00 for her. And right now you're probably saying exactly what I would have said 12 years ago, "who the hell pays $450.00 for a cat?".. I do.. But not on purpose..
My ex-husband actually took me to the pet store because there was a dog there that he wanted.. I looked in the little glass room at a puppy named Bo.. Bo had the worst ever case of ADHD.. This dog was bouncing off the ceilings.. And since I was 8 months pregnant with Ryleigh, and dealing with an 8 year old son that had ADHD, I had no desire to take the hyper puppy home..
Then I heard it.. This faint little cry from the back room.. So I asked the clerk and she said it was a cat in the back office.. They were resistant, but I insisted on seeing her.. And there she sat in this little cat carrier.. Her little Siamese face staring at me.. At that moment, I knew she was going home with me..
Her price tag, $99.00.. I said "wrap her up".. I was told she was sick and had ear mites... "I don't care, wrap her up".. So they packaged her up with an antibiotic and ear drops..
I mentioned she was Siamese.. But she wasn't registered.. So my plan was to get her papered, breed her and make a ton of money selling kittens... HA..
It was probably 2 weeks before I delivered Ryleigh when it happened.. I was sleeping on the couch because I was so big and pregnant, I couldn't lay flat.. And I woke up to Tessa squirming.. I could actually see her stomach contracting, and then she would bleed out of her little kitty Vajayjay.. And on that fine Sunday afternoon, we rushed her to the kitty hospital, where she had an emergency kitty hysterectomy.. And $350.00 later, I've got a cat I can't breed..
I guess I didn't realize how attached I had gotten to her, until now..
She's sick.. I think she's dying actually.. And in the last 48 hours, I've spent a ton of money at the vet (right before Christmas, and the plant shut down).. I've brought her food to her on the couch, given her antibiotics that she hates, and last night administered fluids with an IV bag and needle (she didn't like that much)..
In the evenings I put her on my lap and she falls asleep (she doesn't have the strength to get down, but I suspect she would rather be left alone).. Every couple of minutes I tickle her ear to see if she's still alive.. Otherwise, I refuse to disturb her.. Last night I sat there having to pee for like an hour.. But I wasn't going to move her and risk waking her up..
It's funny.. I've taken it for granted that she was going to be around forever.. I'm devastated at the idea that I won't have to pick up hair balls, or roll the cat hair off my clothes every morning..
I guess I'm an ol' softy after all.
Who's your favorite pet?

Are you really going to eat that?

I just want to start by saying, it is impossible for me to be pregnant on SO many levels..
Although it would be a great excuse for my weight gain, I'm not..

Food combinations I've had in the last week..
Jell-O brand devil's food pudding cup and black olives.
Pickles and cheese (with a side of watermelon).
Chili and oyster dressing.
And I was eating potato salad the other night.. I can't remember what I was having with it (a donut or something stupid).. But my family was turning their noses up in disgust..

So what's your favorite weird food combination?

Oh Christmas tree

I was walking through Sears the day after Halloween..
THEY WERE PLAYING CHRISTMAS MUSIC..
Out loud I said "okay I'm not coming back until after Thanksgiving.. I can't take Christmas coming so soon.." Well come to find out, everywhere I went that day, they were playing Christmas music.. And I fretted all day about how "they" were rushing Christmas..
It's like they want to go straight from Halloween to Christmas and skip right over Thanksgiving.. Well I happen to love Thanksgiving.. And skipping it, just isn't an option.. Unless of course mom decides to not make noodles this year.. Then maybe we can talk about it..
Seriously, when I was growing up Christmas came AFTER Thanksgiving.. We put our decorations up the weekend AFTER Thanksgiving.. Most of the stores didn't put their Christmas stuff out until AFTER Thanksgiving..
I've noticed as an adult that the decorations and the Christmas sales are coming earlier and earlier every year..
BUT THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN???? It was just too much..
Don't get me wrong.. I love Christmas.. And I am mighty proud of both of my Christmas trees.. One is upside down (just because I think it's cool and my life was/is sort of upside down).

The other one has 5000 lights on it.. This is no exaggeration.. I can't lift it, it weighs too much.. And I swear when it's plugged in, the other lights in the house go dim from the energy it takes to light this thing.. (I'm attaching picture of the tree with most of the lights on it.. The picture is from two Christmas' ago.. I think I've added 3 or 4 super long strands since then..)
So I've been bragging to Scott about my perfect and very bright tree..

Last weekend I heard some banging around in the basement, and then some ruckus in the dining room.. He comes into the living room and says "wow".. I see the glow coming through the door.. He's brought my tree up for me..
At first I thought 'uh hello??? too early'.. And I was a little put off by the fact that I was going to have to look at it for a month longer than planned..

But he did drag it up for me.. So I couldn't really complain..
But now, I have it placed.. And I plug it in every night.. I get a warm fuzzy when I look at it (I also get blinded)..
I'm even thinking I'll get the rest of my Christmas decorations out this weekend..
Hey.. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em..

But mom, you're not off the hook for those noodles.

Doing it in Danville

At one point our city motto was "Do it in Danville".. My question is simple.. Do what in Danville?
Shop? Eat? Enjoy all of the many activities that are offered here?
I'd love to.. Just a couple issues first.. Look around man... It's a dying community.. And don't make that face like you're disgusted with me for saying that.. There is not one person in this town that hasn't thought it..
What activities?? Outside of my daughters occasional after school events, there isn't much for her to do..
She went to see a movie Friday night and when the movie was out, she was to wait inside the mall until her ride came to get her.. She has strict rules not to leave the mall until then.. It was after dark, and the crime rate is on the rise.. I also check the sex offender list on a daily basis.. Danville is definitely not short of child molesters.. A group of 4 kids inside the mall together seems a bit more safe than outside the mall.
She was told by Mall Security that without having a sack to prove she'd been shopping, she could not sit down in the mall.. Hello??? She paid for a movie and popcorn (was still holding the popcorn bag during this conversation).. That's a pretty significant purchase..
But not my point..
My point is, I would like nothing more than to keep my dollars local, by "doing it in Danville".. However, even if I can find something of interest here in town, I can't seem to get from point A to point B without going through the rest of the Alphabet first.. With one form or another of road construction going on in at least 5 places throughout town, everyone is forced to take alternate routes.. Generally the alternate routes are side streets and back roads that are only two lanes.. With the increased traffic taking these alternate routes, the two lane roads tend to get congested.. Add to this train traffic, and city wide road rage is off the chart.. I drive 5.5 miles to work every day.. Leave my house, taking side streets to avoid the 14 stop lights between my house and Ryleigh's school, drop her off, and take more side streets to avoid 6 more stop lights..
I cross 4 sets of train tracks and 2 school crossings.. My 5.5 mile commute takes no less than 30 minutes and has taken as much as 50..
The same holds true for any shopping or eating... Danville is running a little low on places to shop to start with.. And eating? I can't say there is anything special about the places you can find to eat in Danville.. It's all about convenience.. You can't get anything here, than you couldn't cook at home.. It's just sometimes easier to go out to eat.. Stop me if you think I'm wrong.. Oh yeah you can't stop me, it's my blog.. hehehe..
So here is my point.. with the increased congestion in traffic, the risk of being stopped by one or more trains, and the looping required to get somewhere that should be a direct shot, it's easier and quicker to hit I74 and head to Champaign.. I know if I go over there, I will be able to find whatever it is I'm shopping for, within a couple blocks of the I74 exit I choose to take.. And while I'm there, I can enjoy a meal consisting of something other than a burger or spaghetti..

Update on Andrew's car

He blew it up.. That's right, it now lives at the junk yard, waiting to be dismantled by someone who needs a spare part or two.. Although after seeing (and smelling) the garbage dump on wheels, I can't imagine any sane person wanting anything off of it..
According to him he put oil in it when he heard it "knocking".. What does that mean?? The car knocked on the hood and said "hey bud, little low on lubrication.. can ya hook me up?" Well it was just a little too late by then..
And he is without wheels..
Do I want to wring his little pea picking neck? You bet your ass I do..
But going through about 11 years of him doing things that I just couldn't wrap my brain around, I have learned to find humor in EVERYTHING.. Which will one day be the basis of my book "How to laugh at something that isn't funny"..
So what's funny about this??
For starters.. When the car died originally, Scott went to look at it.. He got it to start but it wouldn't stay running.. So he called Andrew and said "you're gonna have to put some gas it in it to make it go".. He had not only run it out of oil, but apparently gas too.. Picture if you will my thug of a son first walking to the police station in the rain, to call for a ride.. Then picture him carrying around my little 1 gallon gas can trying to get enough in his car to get him to the gas station where he put in $5.00.
When questioned about the oil, Andrew said "I put oil in it when I heard it knocking".. (kinda makes you shake your head, doesn't it?) That's impossible.. Shortly after Andrew took possession of the car, he tore the exhaust off of it.. You could here him coming 3 blocks away.. The stereo in it was so loud that my next door neighbor brought her newborn over at 10:30pm and asked that Andrew please turn it down prior to arrival because it had woken the baby up more than once.. I wasn't sure I understood this, because clearly the exhaust was louder than the stereo.. Once again my son said something that proves his genius "Tell her to close her windows"..
The driver side window motor went out.. So it's not like he could roll the window down and hear any pinging, or knocking or even an actual explosion..
My guess is, the car croaked.. Not immediately, but at some point after, a light went on in his head that said "wonder if it needs oil".. He admitted to me earlier that right after it died the first time, he put 4 quarts in it..
As I said, Scott got it running.. But the motor and transmission were pretty well gone and the car wouldn't go more than 15 mph (hey.. we should have sold it to the blue/gray hair lady from Senior Citizen Tuesday)..
So while I was at work Saturday, Scott (with Ryleigh in tow) followed Andrew in the speed machine to the junk yard.. According to Ryleigh while they were on their way, the car "popped" and white smoke came pouring out of it.. Call it dead, and play Taps for it..
So you see, the fact that Andrew had to junk the first car he's ever owned - Not so funny.. The events surrounding it, sound like a bad Laurel and Hardy show..

Irony at it's best.

As I mentioned in my profile, my son is a recovering juvenile delinquent.. What I mean by that is, we had several years of struggles and bad choices.. But at 19, he's living with his girlfriend, holding down a job, and paying his own bills (with an occasional supplement from the bank of mom).
He's doing much better now than I'd expected.. But with most 19 year olds, as much as they'd like to think they have, they haven't figured everything out.. He's no exception. And sometimes he'll say something that reminds me of how it was..

Trust me when I say, we are familiar with the police station.. We've been there on some not so pleasant occasions..
As a matter of fact, he knows many of the officers by first name because he was such a frequent flyer there.. If we're in public and see some of them, they'll say "Hey Andrew, how's it going".. We are not strangers to the "system"..
So this morning when I received a call from the PSB (Public Safety Building), all I could think was "here we go again" (with all recovering people, relapse is a constant risk)..
I was wrong.. My son's car broke down about two blocks from the station.. Not having a cell phone and not knowing anyone in the area, he had no choice but to walk to the station and use their phone to call for a ride..
When I hung up after talking to him, I chuckled to myself.. It was like he'd gone to an old friends house to use the phone..
It's ironic to me that the place he hated most a year ago, is the place he had to go for help..
This isn't the first time I've been wrong.. Two years ago my phone rang.. Caller ID said it was the Danville Police Department.. The conversation when like this:
Me: Hello (annoyed that I was going to have to pick him up again)
Her: Is this Kerri Rollins?
Me: Yes (in a voice that said I was about ready to rip someone's head off)
Her: This is so-and-so from the Danville Police Department.
Me: What the hell has he done now?
Her: excuse me?
Me: (spitting fire at this poor woman) You've got my kid, what did he do?
Her: Uh, I'm calling with the Police Benevolent Association looking for your support..
Me: Oh, no thanks.

Green means go

Am I the only one that knows there are stop light sensors in the road?
People that stop at a red light, 6 car lengths back from the light, drive me nuts.. I realize that not every stop light in Danville has underground sensors.. But a big majority of them do..
What does this mean? It means that if you stop your car on top of this thing, it sends a signal to the traffic light that says "hey traffic light, change colors".. If you stop your car before it's on top of this high tech mechanism, the traffic light never knows you're there.. Nor does it know know the 20 cars behind you are there.

trivial trivia

Anyone that has talked to me lately knows I'm just a little stressed about work (or not working as the case may be).. I work at Heatcraft and it's closing.. I only have 6 weeks left of steady income, and I'm a little freaked out about it..
I didn't realize how edgy I really was until this morning..
I'm a huge fan of the show House.. A true die-hard fan.. We're talking, if someone asks me to do something on a Tuesday evening I say "okay as long as I'm home in time for House"..
The local radio station (D102) has been doing House trivia for the last two weeks.. They ask a question and if you're caller number 10 with the correct answer you win for the day.. The prize is a House backpack, T-shirt, and season 4 on DVD.. If you win for the day, you go into a drawing for the grand prize to be given away tomorrow.. Grand prize is a House inspired leather jacket, helmet, and Pocket Rocket motorcycle..
Every day for two weeks, I've known the answers.. I can never get past caller number 4.. So today they get ready to ask the question.. I get my finger positioned on the redial button of my phone.. TommyB reads the question (it's in finish the sentence form).
House says "What am I supposed to do.................." He even listed three possible endings to that sentence..
I watched the show and took notes last night to prepare for this moment.. I didn't know the answer..
I called anyway.. TommyB says "caller number three, thank you" and hangs up.. I hit redial again and it rings several times then I hear "Hi who's this".. Which is TommyB's way of saying you're caller 10..
I panicked.. I NEVER PANIC - EVER (remember the mouse/pants incident? no panic). But today, I hung up the phone.. I DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO GUESS.. I HUNG UP THE PHONE...
This was like the straw that broke the camels back.. And here I sit surrounded by the emptiness of a closing plant, and I'm in tears because I hung up on TommyB.

Old folks, change diggers and lunch hours..

I get an hour for lunch, and it's a precious thing..
Usually I don't take the whole hour.. But I ALWAYS manage to accomplish something during that time.. Today's goal was to go to the credit union and make my car payment (forgot it was Veteran's Day), and go to the dollar store to get toilet paper..
Apparently I did not get the memo stating it was senior citizen Tuesday..
I got behind a white Buick of some kind.. Not sure of the model, but I can tell you the license plate number because I stared at it for what seemed like days, at the warp speed of 15 miles an hour, driving up Bowman Ave.. For those of you that don't know, Bowman goes from 30 to 55 in about a 2-3 mile span.. But we never wavered from 15 MPH.. She must have been going to Wal-Mart (never try that on lunch), because I passed her in the turning lane at Liberty.. I think it was a her.. I could only see her blue/silver hair reflecting off the window..
What's the spyglass thingy on submarines.. She had to have had one of those, because there was no way she could see over the dash.. It felt good to go slightly above the speed limit on Liberty lane..
So, I get to the dollar store at 12:05. Lunch is over at 12:30. I breeze through.. Got something to snack on, a Charmin 9 pack and head to the register.. I'm third in line - crap.. The first guy was pretty quick.. Paid in cash, took his change and his sack and left.. The next lady, not so much..
Her total was $9.55 and apparently she had the day off.. Because as soon as the cashier said her total, she leaned back past me saying "wait I forgot" and she grabbed a snicker bar (she really could have gone without it I think).. Cashier rings it up, new total is $10.53.. That's 53 cents more than the ten dollar bill she was planning to cover it with.. The digging began..
Pockets first.. Pants and coat (I love winter).. She jingled a little bit. But not quite enough, because then she went fishing through her purse, I thought for the rest of the change.. I was wrong.. The fishing produced a hot pink coin purse.. Then she started digging through that with one finger.. I see her lay a quarter and 2 pennies on the counter.. And back to the coin purse she went.. Another quarter was laid down, and now I know we're digging for nothing more than a single penny.. The cashier (God love her) says "here ya go, I got a penny" and collects the $10.52 from the counter.. She undoubtedly noticed the frustration and despair on my face.. I almost told her to put that penny on my debit card..
So I think a new law should go into affect.. "Kerri's Law". Which states that if you are retired, unemployed or on vacation, you may not drive, shop or bank between the high traffic hours of 11am and 1pm and also between 4:30 and 5:30pm.

Naming a blog

Okay this is just uncomfortable.. Everyone is blogging, I read about 5 different blogs every morning, I hear about blogging, you can't do an internet search without some blogspot hits popping up, there are millions of blogs in cyberspace and I want one to call my own. Everyone is coming up with these really cool, reflective names for their blog site.. And I'm staring into space thinking "uh 'kerri's blog' doesn't seem very original"..
I'd kind of like to steal Janice Landi's title 'a Frog and her Blog'.. But the blog Nazi said it was already in use..
So it was Bloggin' for Apples or Mud Bloggin'... I settled.. And here we are bloggin' for Apples..

I'm hoping to keep up with this.. I'm really worried I'll have trouble coming up with stuff to write about.. I also have a little ADD issue.. Just in the time it took to write this, I've had 4 bazzillion other random thoughts go through my head.. Like does anyone else subconsciously type phonetically? Instead of "did you hear about the parade of lights?", I typed "did you here about the parade of lights?" I do this frequently in work email.. Then a person will reply, I'll go back and read what I sent originally and think "great, I look like an idiot". Why did this pop into my brain? I've done it about 28 times just typing this post..
Look for wrong words or left out words in all my posts.. It's bound to happen..

Until then, would you like to blog for red or green apples.